ABOUT ME
I was born at a relatively young age in the first year of "Camelot" --
no, not King Arthur's reign in the 6th Century, but President Kennedy's in 1961.
You could say I was literally a child of the 60s, but love, peace and understanding
had no chance to pervert my young mind, since my family was strictly Christian
conservative.
I left religion at age 12, and conservatism at age 26, to become the godless pinko
commie lying socialist weasel that conservatives find at right. I'm sure that
liberals will recognize something of the kindly, gentle, good-humored progressive
student I actually am in this photo, which makes this a political Rorschach ink-blot
test (and probably about as attractive).
I've led an interesting life, even if it hasn't always taken me where I want to go. Upon
graduating from high school in 1979, filled with high hopes and dreams of wealth and fame,
I promptly ran into the back-to-back recessions of 1980-82, the worst since the Great Depression.
So I did the politically correct thing to do -- for a conservative -- and joined the Army.
I must have scored really low on their qualifications tests, because they relegated
me to military intelligence. This included a year of learning a foreign language (Russian)
while basking in the sun at the Presidio of Monterey, California.
I had just begun wondering why everyone complained about Army life when they
shipped me off to Fort Bragg, to play G.I. Joe in the dirt. While my paperwork was still
being processed, President Reagan decided to invade Grenada. I waved my comrades goodbye
at neighboring Pope Air Force Base, unable to join them without my paperwork. (Damn
bureaucracy!) No matter -- I got to see a war anyway, in Central America,
doing things I am not at liberty to discuss (but which you can read about in any newspaper).
In 1984 they shipped me off to Berlin, to do more of the things I can't discuss.
Basically this involved electronic eavesdropping on Soviet military units in
Eastern Europe, analyzing the transcripts and reporting back to NATO. It was here
that I learned that a Soviet invasion of Western Europe was impossible, because
their soldiers lacked certain sophisticated training -- like, oh, say, driving
skills. But I must not have been in the entire intelligence loop, for our leaders
could often be seen on television solemnly warning us of the grave Soviet threat that
hung over Europe like a pall.
And then there were the wake-up calls -- the terrorist bombing of a Berlin discotheque
only a few blocks away from my living quarters. In response, Reagan ordered the bombing of
Libya, even though it later turned out that we had no proof they did it. (The subsequent
terrorist alert, however, forced me to cancel my vacation to Spain.) And
then there was the Soviet's assassination of Major Arthur Nicholson, one of my
intelligence compratiots,
whose funeral I attended. The image of his 4-year old daughter clutching a Cabbage Patch
doll throughout the entire service is one that is forever burned into my memory. This was a
pivotal moment in my life, causing me to question my conservative beliefs and take
a more serious look at the costs and benefits of the arms race. And I was also
there when Chernobyl experienced the worst nuclear disaster in history, giving Berlin
a nice radioactive bath in my last month of service. But other than this, I loved Europe.
With an honorable discharge in one hand, and the GI Bill in the other, I flew back
to California in 1986 to recreate the college lizard lifestyle. Port of entry into said lifestyle
was the University of
California - Santa Cruz. This campus is one of the most beautiful in the world, sitting atop
a small mountain of redwood forests, overlooking all 50 miles of Monterey Bay. It is also
one of the most liberal places in America, only one of two U.S.
cities to have ever elected a socialist mayor. Needless to say, Santa Cruz is often the target of
Rush Limbaugh's wrath. UCSC is also famous for its appearance in the movie Pulp
Fiction, albeit as an emblem on John Travolta's "dorky" T-shirt. (The yellow
creature you saw was a banana slug, the school mascot.)
Going from the Army to USCS was like going from conservative heaven to liberal heaven at warp
speed. There, kindly professors pointed out to me the illogic of defending life
by taking it, destroying the planet for a buck and shutting down schools
to build more prisons. I am now thoroughly brainwashed to believe that kindness and human
decency are positive traits to be emulated and encouraged. I know this is a radical thought
for a straight white male, but I suppose it proves that European traits are not really,
reeeeeaallly genetic.
Today I have a major in Russian studies, with an emphasis on political science and economics.
However, I am applying to grad school in U.S. political science, which has interested me much
more since communism fell. I visited Russia in 1989, and the trip was one of the most incredible
experiences of my life. The
Russians are the warmest, friendliest people I've met anywhere. But their country was in the
final stages of collapse, with devastating environmental problems and economic stagnation.
Yet more proof, if more be needed, that dictatorships are disastrous. Long live democracy...
I have many interests in life, among them traveling, writing, movies and socializing
in Santa Cruz's deservedly famous coffee shops. But one of the biggest is
chess. From 1992 to 1995, I served as the Santa Cruz Chess Club
President, where I am both a tournament director and a strong A-player.
Teaching chess to school children is one of my life's greatest joys.
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